Thursday, February 7, 2013


The beauty that never fades, that is simple and yet an expression of the myriads of shades and sounds. It stands in front of you in all its modesty  that doesn't require any explanation and takes your breath away, holding your soul in its delicate palms making you very aware of the feelings streaming through like a sudden light from behind the clouds at the end of the storm. The air is so charged, the senses are heightened to the breaking point where you afraid to open your eyes. The view might tear you apart only to collect the pieces seconds later and heal and shape your whole being into something radically new. 
The transformation is almost complete. Once more there's a chance to come out of the cocoon and soar. The skies are tempting. Diving into unknown and yet so painfully familiar from the mix of memories and dreams is exhilarating. There aren't any regrets or restrictions, 
only the vast emptiness of ever-consuming space with the beauty in its highest form, simple as a lone drop of rain rolling down the cheek pretending to be something else.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

To Mars!

It's finally happening. I am going.
The trip I've been dreaming about for years. The day is coming really soon. Not much to pack, the space is way too limited. 
It's a one way joirney and I understand what it means. No going back. It doesn't bother me. I am ready. I have been ready for a long time. The inevitable trip I was going to make.
It's too exciting to have time to look back. Things ahead eclipse anything in the past lowering memories in a soft shadowy cloud to unpack later and cherish.
Just to think of it. The whole planet is in front of you. That's an ultimate frontier experience. 
It doesn't feel like leaving at all, not at the moment at least. It feels more like coming back after a prolonged break, a newly discovered old house that needs some fixing and sorting to be whole and livable once again. I want to see it happening, use my bare hands building something new from scratch. 
Will I miss things I'll have to leave behind? Of course, I'm only a human. But they are not enough to hold me back. 
We were born to move and explore. The whole civilization was build on that simple notion of constant movement in space and time. We are not designed to stay put for too long. Universe is a big place. What's the use of it if you only know one corner.
I am going to bring my life and my memories with me and make so many new ones. 
Pictures, faces, scenery...
We'll leave without any expectations to go back and compare. There's little point in it.
Things that are supposed to be different will be, no matter how much we'd want to bend them to acomodate our tastes. The sky will be different color, the air, land. And it's fine.
On our journey we'll look at Earth and see it shrink in size until it'll loose its color and finally turn into a little speck of light lost between planets and stars barely available to the naked eye. We'll still know it's there.
Everything in life is just another step. I am making this step because I know there's nothing left for me here. When feeling like this persist you'd listen carefully. 
When life you have lived so far is just a prelude to something yet unknown you'd pack your bags and head forward. That's what it's all about. Uncharted routes that you must take throwing caution to the wind. 
What will I miss the most... The moments. Occasional scenery, conversation, people that are gone, the quiet intensity of things minutes before they are irrevocably changed. I won't dwell on the past but it will always be there. 
I am wondering what would my first step in a new place feel like. 
It's incredible to know that you can move in any direction of your choice. I'm sure I'll enjoy all the space. After all in our crowded old world it's a precious commodity.
I will miss the seasons, flowing water, green...
But it could be remedied in time and with the effort. 
The scenery will be refined, climate will change.  It's not important if I live to see it. I'm glad to be a part of the process, however little role I'll play. 
Future is bigger than anyone of us.
The project we are undertaking is beyond just one lifetime.
I'm trying to decide on things to bring. The rest must be discarded, given away. It feels right. No regrets. 
Priorities and values have changed.