Literary escapades

Life is seeping away like water Running through fingers  Trembling with fear Illusive lights  Show the road untraveled  Full of promise, new and enticing  Blurry vision of days and years  Slowly falling in memory pockets To be retrieved some other time...

What can you do when you are chained to a speeding train that only accelerates. To jump off, continue with the insanity or find the way to soar free.  If all the hours of pain and despair taught you anything it's to wait, hoping 'what if'. What if the next turn will have the answers you are looking for. Hope, peace, sanity. Illusions are floating in the air even when there isn't any strength to hold on and you are just instinctively clutching at the last reason. Survival is so deeply rooted that it wouldn't let you go easily even in the darkest of moments.  What makes us endure, stand up from broken knees over and over again, against all odds, against time and ourselves hiding deeper and deeper begging for mercy of an oblivion, from past, present, memories, faces... But tireless carousel is spinning ever so faster, and world outside is just a set of blurry images of what was, is and will be...

Sometimes it's small and non-intrusive. It follows you around quietly without an argument. You hardly notice it exists.  At times it's bigger and more pronounced. You see it when taking photos under the bright sun in short winter afternoons. It's stepping in in front of you to make a point. And then the time comes when it starts to hover above you where it's getting harder to ignore it. It covers your sky, just a small part at first,  then slowly spreading like a big stain and taking away the sun and the sky, taking away warmth, light, color,  playing with your mood and finally getting your full attention. It starts sipping through your pores, getting inside even deeper. You are suddenly very aware of the probing intruder searching for something with its alien fingers. The cold is invading you like a doubt, occupying your waking thoughts, not allowing to forget its presence even for a minute... till the next sunny day that is suddenly here washing away all the dark ...

World is too crowded. You notice it when it starts to make you claustrophobic even in the wilderness. It leans on you with all the people, buildings, vehicles and endless excessive noise depriving you of the minimal personal space that is just yours. Everything and everyone seem to be carelessly infringing on it at all hours of the day and night. Too many, too much... Getaways from it are through and back the same thick layer you need to squeeze in in order to briefly escape and then soon return so they seem more and more unreachably illusional in its temporal status that only enhances the feeling of being forcibly trapped in the world that is too close to breathe. You start to run and hide in the corners of yourself. More often than not. To live with the sense of being watched and heard you learn to speak to yourself quietly inverting all your being, keeping eyes only on necessary.  Sometimes you'd stop to notice the change in season, distractive colors, the sky that is ev...

What used to be  may never return May hide in shadows  Sleep deep inside  Where you will need  all the light of sun to see its contours  Burnt in recesses  with colors and taste unrecognized Though always there  However scared  to come to surface  And Be Again...

When touch of autumn promises the end  of scorching heat,  long days in green and blue,  the fading echo of cicadas song with skies so close  you almost touch the fabric  and brush aside clouds  to see the sun We linger outside hesitating  to go back home Prolonging the experience and hoping  This time winter  will forget to come

Some things will stay with us or go  And vanish slowly out of sight Transform reality we know  To someone's anguish or delight All memories will slowly fade To our sorrow and dismay To come again and be reborn  One freshly crisp and sunny day